Poor Poor Negros: A comment on ghetto-ism

So I wasn't going to write this particular blog-post, but I have to kill an hour of time at work until I start my next project. So if this sounds like I'm ranting or pissed off at ghetto-ass-shit then assume that is what I'm doing.

The setup:
So I'm at my favorite wine bar last week in Harlem enjoying my time as I usually do there, when an old friend (or should I say "Bar-friend") walks in and sits down with his crew of folks. After a few minutes I walk over and give the brotha some dap and sit down and chit-chat with him for a while.

The Let down:
So we chit-chat for a few and catch up on the summer happenings. We talk about the fun and not so fun times blah blah blah. So then the brotha pulls me aside and says:

Brotha at the Wine Bar: Dude, you know that Mintons has closed down right?

The Bougie Negro: Man, you gotta be lying It's historic. That's like a Harlem Landmark.

Brotha at the Wine Bar: No dude, I'm not joking. What happen is they lost their liquor license.

The Bougie Negro: Wait, how does BAR lose it's LIQUOR LICENSE? So what is it now just a big room that has landmark status on the national registry of land marks?

Brotha at the Wine Bar: Yeah. Basically.

The Bougie Negro: Dude, we spent at least 2 to 3 nights a week in there chilling with the jazz folks. Their only responsibility at BAR is the maintain a LIQUOR LICENSE. The reason the call it a BAR is because of the LIQUOR.

Brothat at the Wine Bar: I know man. Ain't that some shit?

The Bougie Negro: That some ghetto shit to be honest with you. I mean don't they have lawyers who do this as their full time job? Ain't that what your attorney is for?

So that was the main part of the conversation, well that's the part that pissed me off. I'm tired of some half-ass-ghetto-shit all the time. This is one of the true remaining Jazz spots in Harlem that actually has REAL JAZZ. Not that watered down smooth jazz that is easy to listen to by people who don't know Jazz. They were playing some real stuff and had real people playing it. The spot is still open, but now they have a COVER CHARGE and the have an uncorking and wine glass fee if you deciced to go there and BYOB.

If I had the cash I'd buy that place in a minute. It's a real piece of Harlem. I got the oook up about the spot from Grandma she used to go there when Harlem was ev-vouge. How much more authenctic can you get?

The Good News:
The night wasn't a total loss. I found out that SEVENTEEN-BELOW (new Club./Lounge Frederick Douglass BLVD & 116th Street) was having a soft-opening, so I snuck in there for a few minutes. It looks like its going to be a cool spot. (Think APT, Bungalo 8 & MARQUEE meets Harlem Ghetto Fabulous) I'm going to suggest you bring your BLACK-AMEX-CARD or get really friendly with the Bartenders cause they are gonna hit you in the pokect like a mutha fucka when come times to get your drink on, same as they do at the exclusive downtown spots. I did meet the owners and they both seem to be 100% focused on making the club a success. The club is definetly upscale, so you can say they thought about it before they started working on the spot. It will be two floors, and i'm told they will be getting A-list entertainers to feature on the live stage planned for the basement lounge. (They did mention ONE particular musician they have scheduled...I won't give his name, but he likes to wear purple and high heels...nuff said).

PS...I hope this lounge is a success so someone can finally put MOCA out of Business. Yeah I said it!!!

Peace

The Bougie Negro

Saks Fifth Avenue is on Crack

So I'm at my local neighborhood laundry waiting for the wash cycle to finish so I can place my clothes in the dry....(Yes its hard to believe but even The Bougie Negro sometimes has to do his own laundry)....but anyway. I'm flipping through stack of random magazines they put out to keep you from being bored and I notice the Saks 5th Avenue Christmas gift magazine. Now, I'm no fool. I know that Saks is a high end store and I sometimes can afford to buy socks or boxers there when the are on sale. So I'm not surprised by the outrageous prices that accompany the items in the magazine. But this year a few of the item stood out to me and caused me to wonder if these fools are really smoking crack while they put the catalog together.

Some items of special note are:
The "EGO LIFESTYLE" Brown Crocodile-embossed handcrafted leather laptop with integrated handle. Noted as featuring Piano lacquer finished interior and titanium and chrome accents throughout. Asking a small change price of only $10,900.

Now, I have worked in computers for most of my professional life and I've seen and built and fixed thousands of PC/Macs etc. And never have I see any computer worth more that like three grand. Period. All computers break. That why they make them so you can go by another when it breaks. So I'm supposed to go buy another $10K laptop when this one breaks? Or leave this over night with the tech guys at the Apple store? I think not.

There were some sensible gifts like the $795 Hugo Boss tuxedo. Which I'm sure I'd look great in at the Barack Obama Inaugural Ball. (And yes I will be at the inaugural ball in January--don't hate the playa. Hate the game.)

Or even the 18K white gold/silver look "Infinity Chain" bracelet was nice. Asking only $1150. Which is a little high, but I could see someone buying her husband or fiance this as a gift.

But I draw the line at the $800 cuff links or the $31K black titanium watch with no diamonds or nothing just a black and red watch.

We already know Cartier is on crack so I'm not even going to mention the $50K watch. Which did look good, but can't justify $50K watch in this economy. And I won't mention the $49K MontBlanc watch. Montblanc?? Don't they make pens? Who said you can make watches? I think its the crack talking to them.

And speaking of crack. Why have I literally been offered to smoke crack more than a few times at random parties I've been to? I know folks are claiming to be going retro and bringing back the '80s but seriously folks. Crack? Really? And the funny thing its not Black folks who are offering me crack. Its white folks. They must have been sleeping during the '80s.

Anyway yall I'm gonna end this post and hope that all yall get out and vote. Cause another 4yrs of BitchAssNess I don't think I could stand.

Peace.

The Bougie Negro.